My car didn't start yesterday morning.
The first sign that something wasn't right occurred when I tried opening the car doors using the Electronic Key all cars seem to come with these days. Nothing happened when I clicked on the little unlocked padlock that normally opens all the car doors. In vain, I tried again and again and again, until I eventually opened the driver door manually, put the key in the ignition and turned it. Nothing. Not even a hiss. Nothing. Dead silence.
o_O
Since it's only 1 year old, I was rather annoyed. In fury, I called a cab and paid $15 to get to work. My friend and co-worker Tony, who is from Ghana, dropped me at home, and told me what to do.
He thinks I left the lights on and burned out the battery, so I need to jump-start the car with one of those jumper cables, and that my car alternator would keep charging the car after I got the first start. I swore I didn't leave the lights on - I unquestionably have OCD, and I have a checklist for almost every activity I do: leaving the house (check that all lights are out, oven is off, fire alarm in place, taps in the bathroom and kitchen are off, sockets are clear of equipment), leaving the car (check that lights in the car are out, check that lights outside the car are off, check that the car is in Park, check that Emergency Brake is drawn, etc). I could not, I insisted, possibly have left the lights on.
I called the dealership and they (very generously) sent over a guy to jump start the car.
As I expected, Tony was right. Tony is almost always right. I am forever amazed at the amount of stuff he knows - about life, about plant work, about engineering, about manufacturing, about food processing... it's rather amazing.
Anyway, back to my car...
A few months ago I drove to Maple Glen, Pennsylvania. After running a few errands, I found out that my car would not start. I would turn the key in the ignition, and instead of the sound of the engine kicking to life, all I got was a sluggish crank, a sure sign that something was seriously wrong. I noticed, also, that there was a strange light on my dashboard: a green key that flashed every 5-10 seconds. I hadn't seen this key before, and if nothing else, I regard myself as an occasionally observant person - observant enough, I thought, to notice when a new icon appeared on my dashboard. After several fruitless attempts to start the car, I turned to that veritable solution to all of modern man's problems: the iPhone.
I whipped out my iPhone and googled the symptoms: 'Car won't start, green key, Honda Civic, 2009'.
Sure enough, I was directed to a messageboard, where I was treated to the pearls of wisdom that litter the Internet.
One of the messages I saw said that my car might no longer recognize my car keys, and that I should try using the spare keys. Since the spare keys were 60 miles away in Vineland, NJ I dismissed this piece of advice and scrolled through to find some suggestion that could help me out of my predicament without requiring that I call AAA.
One such nugget of wisdom came from a man who claimed that my battery cable might have come loose, and that I should pop the hood and jiggle the cable. Like an idiot, I jumped out of the car and tried to pop the hood.
It was around this time that I realized that:
1) I have never popped my own car hood before. Think about this. A f*cking Engineer, who works in Manufacturing, relatively intelligent person, and she has no idea how to pop the hood. Great.
2) I was not sure where to pop the hood. My instincts told me to Google it (Lord help us all!), but after searching for about 10 seconds, I found the lever that pops the hood.
3) I looked at the battery and found that the wires were in place. Nevertheless, I still - like an idiot - jiggled it.
What is wrong with this story?
Well, for one, if the battery cable was off, I would have been unable to see any blinking icons on my dashboard because - well, the bleeding battery would not be connected and the dashboard would have no power. How could I not have known?
Anyway, the moral of the story is this: there is a lot of stupidity in every human being, and sometimes it takes smaller events to expose this.
Another really amazing thing for me is just the sheer amount of stuff I don't know. I spoke with one of the mechanics in my plant about the incident with the flashing green key in my car, and he was so amused by the whole thing, that I covered my face in embarrassment. He told me all I had to do when I saw the flashing green key was unlock my car and the car would have been fine. By stepping out of the car to pop the hood (and pressing the unlock key when I went back in), this is what I did - in an unknowing and roundabout sort of way. I just hadn't realized it.
What an air-head.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
10 things I love about the US
1) Apple Pie
2) Amazon.com
3) Cheese cake
4) The Seinfeld Show
5) Princeton University
6) Yale University
7) Michael Antonio, who makes shoes (I don't know if he is American, but I love his shoes)
8) Target
9) Ikea - I know, I know, not American...
10) Hotels that have Wireless Internet! Love that!
2) Amazon.com
3) Cheese cake
4) The Seinfeld Show
5) Princeton University
6) Yale University
7) Michael Antonio, who makes shoes (I don't know if he is American, but I love his shoes)
8) Target
9) Ikea - I know, I know, not American...
10) Hotels that have Wireless Internet! Love that!
Bored out of my mind
My plant is shut down for the next 2 weeks. That means there will mostly just be the salaried staff in the plant. Some of the maintenance crew will also be around, but none of the operators on my shift will be in the plant.
It also means I get to work during the day instead of at night like I usually do.
In short, it sucks. I enjoy the operators in my plant - they're funny, they're dynamic, they're hardworking and they're very intelligent. I know them a lot better than I know the salaried folks in the plant, partly because I work opposite hours from the salaried team, and get to spend hours in the plant each night with the operators!
I can't believe how much I miss the people on my shift in the plant, even the ones who give me drama. :-) It's a little disconcerting...
So I will probably be in meetings for much of the 2 weeks. I intend to go visit some people over the shut down - my parents, my friends, and probably do some 'hanging out' (whatever the flying f*ck that means!).
I'm back on facebook, after a hiatus of about 1 year. A year ago, something unusual happened to me, precipitating a series of changes that I have still been unable to explain: I left facebook, I started a new job, bought a new car, cut off communication from all but 3 of my Princeton buddies, became vegan, made a clean break from religion and basically started life anew. I still can't explain the reasons for these changes/decisions, but I know that they've been deeply rewarding. I've learned a lot of stuff on my job - indeed my job has shown me just how little I actually knew about manufacturing! I've lost an eye-popping amount of weight, my car is no longer new (it's got ~6000 miles on it), but I still love it nonetheless.
I recently stopped being vegan, but that has only served to remind me of how little I enjoyed meat in the first place. I got a headache the first time I ate chicken again, after the year-long break, so I'm really wary of meat and meat-products now.
I went from a diet with a daily dose of meatballs (home-made), to a pure vegan diet; strangely, I didn't miss meat.
In other matters, I am in the middle of a movie right now. It's called 'Without Shame', and it's on Youtube. It's a Nigerian movie, and it sucks phat ballz. It's about a wealthy man with an absolutely stunning wife (what Nigerian men would call 'lip-smacking, finger-licking good!'). The man has a son from a prior marriage, but the boy's mother passed away. Thus the man lives in a mansion with his wife and his son. One day, his wife leaves him because she thinks her step-son is full of drama. Meanwhile, her sister comes over to visit and seduces her the man (her sister's husband). The step-son finds out and blackmails her into sleeping with him. As you can probably tell, it's full of unrealistic and implausible plot twists. The plot is weak, the acting is whack, the audio is pathetic, yet I can't tear my eyes away from the screen. Something is seriously wrong - I'm bored out of my mind! It reminds me a little of the soap operas my mother has always bee fascinated by: Days of Our Lives, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, etc. I usually sit on the couch for hours, bemoaning the poor quality of the plots, yet I never switch channels. :-) I suppose these are my guilty pleasures.
It's going to rain soon. I love it when it rains - it takes me right back to my childhood, sitting by the window watching it rain, cooking with my brothers and sisters, loafing around the house. We had 6 months of near-daily rainfall in Nigeria, from March till September or thereabouts; nothing beats the beauty of tropical rain, and that earthy smell that immediately precedes and follows it. If there is one thing I miss about Nigeria, it's the rain.
It also means I get to work during the day instead of at night like I usually do.
In short, it sucks. I enjoy the operators in my plant - they're funny, they're dynamic, they're hardworking and they're very intelligent. I know them a lot better than I know the salaried folks in the plant, partly because I work opposite hours from the salaried team, and get to spend hours in the plant each night with the operators!
I can't believe how much I miss the people on my shift in the plant, even the ones who give me drama. :-) It's a little disconcerting...
So I will probably be in meetings for much of the 2 weeks. I intend to go visit some people over the shut down - my parents, my friends, and probably do some 'hanging out' (whatever the flying f*ck that means!).
I'm back on facebook, after a hiatus of about 1 year. A year ago, something unusual happened to me, precipitating a series of changes that I have still been unable to explain: I left facebook, I started a new job, bought a new car, cut off communication from all but 3 of my Princeton buddies, became vegan, made a clean break from religion and basically started life anew. I still can't explain the reasons for these changes/decisions, but I know that they've been deeply rewarding. I've learned a lot of stuff on my job - indeed my job has shown me just how little I actually knew about manufacturing! I've lost an eye-popping amount of weight, my car is no longer new (it's got ~6000 miles on it), but I still love it nonetheless.
I recently stopped being vegan, but that has only served to remind me of how little I enjoyed meat in the first place. I got a headache the first time I ate chicken again, after the year-long break, so I'm really wary of meat and meat-products now.
I went from a diet with a daily dose of meatballs (home-made), to a pure vegan diet; strangely, I didn't miss meat.
In other matters, I am in the middle of a movie right now. It's called 'Without Shame', and it's on Youtube. It's a Nigerian movie, and it sucks phat ballz. It's about a wealthy man with an absolutely stunning wife (what Nigerian men would call 'lip-smacking, finger-licking good!'). The man has a son from a prior marriage, but the boy's mother passed away. Thus the man lives in a mansion with his wife and his son. One day, his wife leaves him because she thinks her step-son is full of drama. Meanwhile, her sister comes over to visit and seduces her the man (her sister's husband). The step-son finds out and blackmails her into sleeping with him. As you can probably tell, it's full of unrealistic and implausible plot twists. The plot is weak, the acting is whack, the audio is pathetic, yet I can't tear my eyes away from the screen. Something is seriously wrong - I'm bored out of my mind! It reminds me a little of the soap operas my mother has always bee fascinated by: Days of Our Lives, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, etc. I usually sit on the couch for hours, bemoaning the poor quality of the plots, yet I never switch channels. :-) I suppose these are my guilty pleasures.
It's going to rain soon. I love it when it rains - it takes me right back to my childhood, sitting by the window watching it rain, cooking with my brothers and sisters, loafing around the house. We had 6 months of near-daily rainfall in Nigeria, from March till September or thereabouts; nothing beats the beauty of tropical rain, and that earthy smell that immediately precedes and follows it. If there is one thing I miss about Nigeria, it's the rain.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
10 pointers for Saturday
10 random thoughts of the day
1) I have to go to North Jersey to see my parents today. It's cold outside and I just want to sit in bed.
2) I have to wait until a package fron my employer arrives before I leave. My boss swore it would arrive today - he'd better be correct.
3) I have no food at home - no rice, no meat, etc. I only have ingredients to make cookies, as well as some bottled water, some dried beans/chick peas.
I'm eating meat again. After a full year of veganism, I'm back eating meat. I don't think I really missed meat, to be honest.
4) I am listening to a song by Fally Ipupa (Congolese Musician). It's a love song - very slow, really smooth. Fally is very handsome - devilishly handsome.
5) I watched a video from Koffi Olomide (Congolese Musician). Koffi and his dancers have bleached their skin senseless. It's disgusting.
6) I'm debating whether or not to bake cookies today. I think I have all the ingredients to make cookies - eggs, cinnamon, sugar, butter, etc. I just haven't the will to get up off the bed.
7) I can pack my luggage for just about any trip in 8 minutes (yes, I timed it...!). I realize just how much traveling I have done in the past 4 months. I've been to Buffalo (NY) once, Columbus Ohio four times, Cleveland Ohio (once) - I'll soon be moving there, Wisconsin once, Atlanta twice, Michigan three times, Connecticut a lot, New Hampshire once, Massachusetts once, Delaware once (yesterday), Pennsylvania about 15 times, Arkansas, Tennessee, Minnesota, etc. And those are the trips I remember! And I took all these trips between December 1 2009 and today. That's about 50 plane/train/cab rides. That's really crazy, no?
8) I really want to go to South Africa to watch the World Cup, but I haven't the money to afford that trip, unfortunately.
9) I realize how little I miss Nigeria.
10) I want to watch another movie. Any movie. It matters little.
1) I have to go to North Jersey to see my parents today. It's cold outside and I just want to sit in bed.
2) I have to wait until a package fron my employer arrives before I leave. My boss swore it would arrive today - he'd better be correct.
3) I have no food at home - no rice, no meat, etc. I only have ingredients to make cookies, as well as some bottled water, some dried beans/chick peas.
I'm eating meat again. After a full year of veganism, I'm back eating meat. I don't think I really missed meat, to be honest.
4) I am listening to a song by Fally Ipupa (Congolese Musician). It's a love song - very slow, really smooth. Fally is very handsome - devilishly handsome.
5) I watched a video from Koffi Olomide (Congolese Musician). Koffi and his dancers have bleached their skin senseless. It's disgusting.
6) I'm debating whether or not to bake cookies today. I think I have all the ingredients to make cookies - eggs, cinnamon, sugar, butter, etc. I just haven't the will to get up off the bed.
7) I can pack my luggage for just about any trip in 8 minutes (yes, I timed it...!). I realize just how much traveling I have done in the past 4 months. I've been to Buffalo (NY) once, Columbus Ohio four times, Cleveland Ohio (once) - I'll soon be moving there, Wisconsin once, Atlanta twice, Michigan three times, Connecticut a lot, New Hampshire once, Massachusetts once, Delaware once (yesterday), Pennsylvania about 15 times, Arkansas, Tennessee, Minnesota, etc. And those are the trips I remember! And I took all these trips between December 1 2009 and today. That's about 50 plane/train/cab rides. That's really crazy, no?
8) I really want to go to South Africa to watch the World Cup, but I haven't the money to afford that trip, unfortunately.
9) I realize how little I miss Nigeria.
10) I want to watch another movie. Any movie. It matters little.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tiger in the year of the tiger
10 pointers for the day
1) Welcome.
2) I drove to Delaware today. It rained; it sucked; I talked a lot about myself to strangers and went through tiring interviews; I was tired by the time I got back home.
3) I think Delaware is under-rated.
4) The interviews went well.
5) I realize I haven't really spoken to either of my brothers in 3 months. And not since the organic matter hit the fan a few weeks ago. I wondered, today, how they're doing.
6) I realize I'm not really wild about going to Nigeria in August. But I have to.
7) My awesome boots arrived today! They're here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002EDDHG0/ref=oss_product
They have 5 inch heels. The most eloquent way of describing them is simple: "they're f*cking awesome!"
8) I watched my first illegal movie online today. Slumdog Millionaire. Last week, I read the book on which the movie is based; I thought the movie, sadly, sucked.
9) I bought 4 fire/carbon monoxide alarms yesterday, after I almost went to sleep with a pot of boiling water still on my stove. They're backup-backup-backup fire/smoke alarms. I'm paranoid like that.
10) I joined Facebook again. I wonder how long before I leave it again.
11) OK, more than just 10 points. I watched 'The Blind Side' yesterday. Not my favorite. In fact, apart from the shiny stuff (nice house, nice cars, etc) and a triumphant performance by the little kid, I thought it was a veritable snoozefest! America's obsession with race is unusual - if the story did not cross racial lines, one would not (as Nigerians often say) hear 'pim' about it!
12) I'm going to see my parents this weekend and to Yale to see my sister next weekend - at least that's the plan.
13) I have to pack up my stuff from work on Monday.
14) I spoke to my boss today. He wants me to start work on the 12th April.
15) Sh!t. That's not a lot of time to pack up, move and settle in!
1) Welcome.
2) I drove to Delaware today. It rained; it sucked; I talked a lot about myself to strangers and went through tiring interviews; I was tired by the time I got back home.
3) I think Delaware is under-rated.
4) The interviews went well.
5) I realize I haven't really spoken to either of my brothers in 3 months. And not since the organic matter hit the fan a few weeks ago. I wondered, today, how they're doing.
6) I realize I'm not really wild about going to Nigeria in August. But I have to.
7) My awesome boots arrived today! They're here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002EDDHG0/ref=oss_product
They have 5 inch heels. The most eloquent way of describing them is simple: "they're f*cking awesome!"
8) I watched my first illegal movie online today. Slumdog Millionaire. Last week, I read the book on which the movie is based; I thought the movie, sadly, sucked.
9) I bought 4 fire/carbon monoxide alarms yesterday, after I almost went to sleep with a pot of boiling water still on my stove. They're backup-backup-backup fire/smoke alarms. I'm paranoid like that.
10) I joined Facebook again. I wonder how long before I leave it again.
11) OK, more than just 10 points. I watched 'The Blind Side' yesterday. Not my favorite. In fact, apart from the shiny stuff (nice house, nice cars, etc) and a triumphant performance by the little kid, I thought it was a veritable snoozefest! America's obsession with race is unusual - if the story did not cross racial lines, one would not (as Nigerians often say) hear 'pim' about it!
12) I'm going to see my parents this weekend and to Yale to see my sister next weekend - at least that's the plan.
13) I have to pack up my stuff from work on Monday.
14) I spoke to my boss today. He wants me to start work on the 12th April.
15) Sh!t. That's not a lot of time to pack up, move and settle in!
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