Blog from Yale University

Hello everyone! I write from Yale University where my sister is graduating tomorrow. In a few minutes, she will be returning from a "family" visit to her future in-laws. Some time early this afternoon, she drove off with her fiance to a town nearby, to meet members of his extended family.

Her fiance is this creepy guy - I really do not understand exactly what it is that attracts either of them to the other. They are a textbook mismatch, but it is not my duty to speak about what I consider the qualities of an ideal relationship, so as I have learned in my short few years, in the matters of love between a man and a woman, if you don't have anything positive to say, you keep your mouth shut tight~! A number of things about him have made me uneasy:

1) He has made jokes about wife-beating. There are certain things in life one does not joke about: HIV, car accidents, armed robbers... wife beating... Not funny at all.
2) He has made light of the Nigerian senator who is under fire for marrying a 13-year-old girl, and he feels strongly that a 13-year-old girl should be allowed to make the choice to marry at that age. This in spite of his medical background. It is, to put it mildly, alarming.
3) He jokes all the time. There is never a serious moment with him, and that's why I am hesitant to use his wife-beating or child-bride jokes against him. Perhaps he was joking. But then again, perhaps not.

He has been dating my sister for about 7 years, and she is an otherwise bright and very intelligent woman, so I will close my eyes and trust her judgment. Let's hope it ends well. I think, he is a nice guy - he has a sense of humor: but that is a huge chunk of the problem - he jokes all the time.

In other matters, my father is here, as is my mother. My father is a bitter and very nasty man of about 70, who has an unfortunate but absolute emotional chokehold on my mother. She quit her otherwise promising career in accounting to raise us, the kids, and I must say that the 30+ years they have been together have robbed her of any independent thought or free will. I love her dearly, but I often worry about her - she worries all the time: about us, about herself, about her husband, her son (my eldest brother) in Nigeria, etc. I recently lost my grandmother (her mother), and I believe she might not have had a chance to properly grieve the loss of her mother, since my mother was in the US when it happened. It is sad. My father was substantively an alcoholic when I was a kid, and the opportunities that have come the way of the 3 girls in my family (myself and my 2 sisters) have largely been by dint of our own hard work, support of my brothers and mother & especially that of my awesome eldest sister, who has a Phd from Princeton. She is bloody awesome - the most intelligent person I know. Period.

Today she downloaded a game unto my iPhone. Apparently she is already on Level 108 (I don't know when she started playing this game - probably a few months ago, but...), while I struggled to get past Level 1. She's that smart! (Edit: I am now on Level 8, and elede maa de Ijebu!)

Anyway, in other matters, an old friend from Nigeria (who I hadn't spoken to in 6 years) declared his love for me on facebook and asked me to marry him. I don't know what he imagined the response would be: "Yes I will leave my life and my career in the US behind and since I have loved you for the 6 years but kept this agonizing secret to myself, I will hop on the next flight to Nigeria and be with you 'til death!"

Seriously.

How can anyone propose on facebook?

How can anyone declare love on facebook?

It's sheer madness.

Oh yes... in sporting matters, it appears Lance Armstrong has stepped on dog poop and is about to be exposed as the cheat and liar many have always believed him to be. Floyd Landis, the disgraced 2006 winner of the Tour de France, apparently sent emails to influential journalists and officials in the Cycling World, detailing the lessons on substance abuse he allegedly received from Lance Armstrong. This news was gleefully reported in the European press but largely ignored by the Americans, who continue to labor under the illusion that Lance Armstrong is clean as a whistle. There is an excellent article in the UK Times, a paper whose Sports section I absolutely adore. The article is here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/more_sport/cycling/article7133884.ece

It is a gem!

Moving on... but still staying on sports...


It's remarkable how much I have changed over the past 5 years - I went from someone who was absolutely obsessed with football ('soccer' to Yanks) to someone who did not even know that the Champions League Finals was taking place last Saturday (May 22nd). Not until I received a facebook message from an old friend asking me about which team I fancied (Inter Milan or Bayern Munich), and I saw lots of messages on facebook about the upcoming match did I realize that there was a big match taking place. The World Cup is starting some time next month, and I cannot even name the teams that will be taking part in the competition. 10 years ago, I would have been breathlessly waiting for the start of the Champions League Finals, and I would unquestionably have been able able to reel off the list of teams taking part in the World Cup, or indeed the date the World Cup will begin.

Now, in 2010, I have no idea. The times, they truly are a changing!