Unease

I cannot help the unease. I am unable to recall a time in my life when things have moved so quickly. The changes that are taking place at work, the fact that I have to lead those changes, the fact that the plant is not moving as quickly as I had expected, the endless traveling, seeing a friend I haven't seen in 6 years again, going to Nigeria in August, the exams I may or may not be taking, the nerves about going to Nigeria, unease about my sister's wedding to her strange fiance - all have added up to make this quite an unsettling time in my life, and I don't like the feeling. It's new territory for me - I'm usually in control, in absolute control of everything around me.

Away from that, my 401k is rolled over; my car is now registered in Ohio. All, it seems, is well with the administrative side of my life. I just need to engage my brain and make it follow suit.

I think I might feel so unsettled because I haven't really had a chance to see the Cleveland area at all. My sister went back to New Haven, to work at some Yale clinic, and so I am alone again in Ohio. Still, I haven't had the chance to see any of the local areas because I have been going to Columbus so often. It appears I will visit Columbus every other Saturday from now until the end of November. That's what I think might happen, although the frequency of the trips might decrease with time (perhaps to just monthly). It's not the end of the world, but it can get really exhausting!

I received my travel plans for the Arkansas trip from my assistant a few days ago - turns out I will be returning to Ohio around midnight on Friday the 9th July. Why she booked a flight for such a time is beyond me, but I didn't make a fuss of things. Indeed I didn't say a word. Sometimes there are battles you just don't want to fight. In the future, of course, if I have a trip, I'll let her know a priori what I need - in this case, it was totally my fault for not speaking to her a priori.

What else is new? Wimbledon is going on. Today, Roger Federer lost to a man named Berdych who is from the Czech Republic. By all accounts, Berdych played well. Andy Murray beat Tsonga, meaning he will next face Rafael Nadal, who defeated Robin Soderling. I quite like Rafa Nadal. Scratch that. He is far and away my favorite tennis player! It is my hope that I can take a weekend to go to the US Open this year and watch him play. Still on tennis, I found this gem of a website online: http://fuldans.se/?v=yuxiylhvsv. The face is Soderling's, the dance moves are hilarious!

The World Cup is still going on. I can barely name the Quarterfinalists (I think they are still in the Quarterfinals). I do know, however, that Ghana has saved Africa's blushes by being the only African team left in the knockout stages of the first World Cup to be staged on African soil. Good on ya, Ghana!

Came across an excellent article about England's trip to South Africa. Here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/index.html

If, like me, you will only read sparingly about this World Cup, make sure that is one article you read. Quite eye-opening.

I am really frightened about visiting Nigeria this year. From what I hear, the country has not changed much in the 4 years since I last visited. It remains a toxic soup of hopelessness and poverty, a steaming cauldron of starvation and backwardness. I recall the abject poverty I witnessed and lived in Nigeria. Days on end without tangible food. Children with kwashiokor, the classic egg-on-sticks appearance, their hair flaming red from malnutrition and what not. It still gives me nightmares. The years of my childhood conjure images of happiness with a family that loves me dearly, but also memories of the agony of living in a wretched state, without access to healthcare, decent clothing, food, etc.

One more thing - Nigeria turns 50 this year. I say it's time for the country to take a long, hard look at its present composition and determine whether we want to redefine our borders. A nation should be composed of a "coalition of the willing". Is this present composition the only solution for Nigeria? Something tells me not.